How to Fill a Closet

May 27th, 2025

Currently Reading: Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter

Currently Watching: Universal's Epic Universe Vlogs

Currently Listening: Upstairs Neighbors Walking Around

My partner is not an "alpha male" or a man who does everything to impress women while dispising them. So it really surprised me when upon my moving in, he made a snide comment about how many clothes I have.

It isn't his fault of course. Women be shopping. Except, he has more clothes than me in the closet. He has more books than me on the bookshelves. He has more trinkets to display. He has more stuff.

And of course he has more stuff than I do. He has more friends than I do. Gets more gifts. He also doesn't seem to have the same guilt I have when buying something for myself. Maybe that's because he isn't Catholic. Maybe it's because he has ADHD. Maybe it's because he isn't an anti-capitalist. Either way, the result is he has more stuff than I do.

And while I don't mind all the stuff, it does sometimes feel like I don't have my own space.

As a woman, I was taught to accommodate, not aberrate. And so, not knowing how to advocate for myself, I snapped.

I got angry. What do you mean I have a lot of clothes? What do you mean I am taking up half the closet? Aren't you taking up the other half? You're taking up MORE than half! Do you even want me to move in with you? I was rude and sharp and I didn't care.

So many women who date men find themselves becoming a trope. I never thought I would be one. And yet, here I am, nagging and crying and shouting over closet space. And it worked. I got my half. We got a dresser. I got half.

I love my partner. He really took it to heart and made space. I know some women who have lived with their male partner for years and still don't have any closet space. They refuse to fight about it. It's a silly thing to fight about, in fairness. But also, no it isn't. I live here too. I pay rent. I deserve to take up space in my own home.

I'm lucky that I don't have to fight so hard inside the home for my right to take up space. My partner does the dishes, literally and figuratively, but I understand why women aren't doing more outside the home. It is exhausting to fight for space. And some women don't have any break. They fight, and fight, and fight, and then they crash. And though it isn't the fault of these women, it is the tactic of people in power to force us to crash.

So, the place to start is at home.

--Beacon